I figure, if I'm going to write a blog, I can be cute and whitty, or write something semi profound, and personal. I've chosen the latter. A year ago I had an awakening. Some of you know that I went through a divorce in '08. I had my guts ripped out, and my heart destroyed. It was one of the most, if not the most painful thing I've ever gone through. I'm not on here to give you the details of my breakup, but rather share the good news of what came from it.
As you can imagine, '08 was a year of pain, mental and physical stress. One doesn't just "get over" a divorce, it's a process. One of the big things in my life that was revealed to me is that I never stood out on my own and did something for my self without the thought of someone else. When I was married, I always thought double minded. Everything I did was a "we" instead of a "me". It was a tough transition to come off of that, and I was terrified to be by myself. I had no real sense of independance, because I've always been a pretty co-dependant person. The thought of going out to dinner on my own, or going to a movie by my self was very odd to me. Especially the idea of doing a road trip on my own.
In November of '08, I had found out that I was going to be laid off from my job at the end of January. At first I paniced, and then I realized what a great opportunity it was to step out on my own and do something bold, and out of my comfort zone. I had a few friends that lived in San Diego, CA who had been begging me to come visit for years. I had no reason not to. My options were either; stay in Washington, and look for another job, and live with my Mom. Or I could go back down to Dallas, or set out and go to San Diego. I decided I was going to go to San Diego and live with my friends. I had no job, no prospects, and only a little bit of cash to get me down there, and tide me over until I found work,
I figured I would just leave right after the last day at my job and just rush to get down there. One day I was out on a walk, and it dawned on me that I should turn this into an adventure, and a claim of my independance from my ex. So I decided I would give my self a month to get to San Diego. For those of you who don't know geography very well, I am leaving from Seattle, WA which is pretty much almost all of the way north in the west coast. About 2 hours from Canada. And San Diego is about 20 minutes from Mexio. So I decided I would see the coast, and spend time with myself and God, and allow that healing process to take place.
I had to set a few rules for myself. First off, I wanted to do this as cheap as possible so I decided the following:
- I would sell all of my belongings that wouldn't fit into my SUV. Everything I own would be in my car.
- I would pack my car so I could move things around and sleep in the back on a matress pad and sleeping bag.
- I would pack a cooler, and a plastic tote for food, and be 100% mobile. I would cook in the back of my car, eat on the side of the road, in parks, or on the beach.
- I would try to either sleep in my car, or stay with friends on the way. If I "had" to stay in a hotel that was ok, but I would stay in the cheapest one I could find, and avoid it as much as I could.
- I would avoid eating out, other than a few plans of places I wanted to try along the way
- I would use the time to question my life, and set goals for my future, and do it with only my self in mind.
Day 1:
I remmeber Tuesday February 3rd, I packed up my car the night before, and speant the morning with my Mom. I left around noon. My Mom was a mess. We said our goodbyes, and I kissed her and the dogs and slowly pulled out of the driveway as I looked at the neighborhood where I grew up in wave goodbye in my rear view mirror. I stopped of at the store in town for a few last supplies, and some necessary music slections for the road trip. I had an idea in my head where I wanted to play certain songs that had meaning to me during certain parts of the trip.
I stopped of at my friend Gloria's house to give her one last hug goodbye, and then I set out for the freeway.
I queued up a song from the Killers called All These Things That I Have Done. This song had kind of become my anthem in recent months. There are bits of lyrics that just jump out at me.
"When there's nowhere else to run. Is there room for one more son? One more son. If you can hold on. If you can hold on, hold on. I wanna stand up, I wanna let go. You know, you know - no you don't, you don't. I wanna shine on in the hearts of men. I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand." "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier".
I wanted to type out the whole song, but there's too much. As I got onto the freeway, the song kicked in. I started to cry as I crossed the borders of my town as I slapped the stearing wheel and pumped my fist. The emotions were overwhelming. I was really doing this! As I left town, right after this song was over, I tuned on "Here I go again on my own" by White Snake, 'cause why not? It's cheasey, but even that song had meaning to me, because when my Mom was younger and her and my Dad got divorced, she played that song on the road trip as we moved away with her. That song was a tribute to my Mom.
I drove by all of the framiliar areas knowing that I might not see them for a long time.
My first stop was the Washington State capitol. I had always read about it as a kid, and told myself "Hey I should go someday", so I figured since I was in Olympia, why not stop off and see what I've been missing? It was amazing. Such a beautiful building. Inside and out. I took a ton of pictures, but obviously I can't post them all because I don't have room. I just posted this one because it just captures the essence of the building.I killed a couple of hours, and then set out again. I really had no agenda other to be in Astoria, OR by the end of the day. For this part of the trip I queued up Tom Petty's greatest hits and pumped my rock fist as I scraped Washingtons lanscape. I remember listening to Tom Petty's "Free Falling" as I crossed the bridge in Longview over the Columbia River and the Washington/Oregon border. I set up the big hill along the riverside on the way to Astoria.
Astoria has always been a bit of a cool place for me. I had never visited there, but I always wanted to. A few reasons is because a few of my favorite childhood movies were fillmed there, and I'm a big nerd. Goonies, Kindergarden Cop, and Short Circut! Hello! Also, when I was a kid, we talked about moving to Astoria before we decided to go to Washington, so I was always intruged by this small town.
I pull into town right around sunset which was about 6ish. I didn't really have any plans. The first thing to do was to scout out where I was going to sleep that night where it would be dark, safe, and where I wouldn't gett harrassed by the cops for staying in the parking lot all night. So naturally, I figured a hotel parking lot would be the best idea. I stopped off at one motel parking lot for dinner. I pulled out my camping equipment and food and made some soup for supper. I had my little camping chair right out of the back of my SUV, and a few people walked my and gave my weird looks. By the time I'd taken time to cook supper, and eat, I'd only killed about 30 minutes, and it dawned on me that I was going to be really bored until it was time for bed. It's not like I can sit in front of a tv or computer and veg, and I'd been sitting in my car all day. I also didn't have much money to go out anywhere, and really, where am I going to go in a small little port town? I decided to go kill some time in the local Safeway. I had a Starbucks gift card from my Pop for $75, so he bought me my first cup of coffee that night at the little kiosk in the grocery store. I walked around and made some phone calls. Also I talked to a sweet girl that worked there and told her that I wanted to see some of the sights the next day. She gave me directions to the Goonies house, and the school from Kindergarden Cop! I could have hugged the woman, I was so excited.
I got tired, so I found a nice looking Holiday Inn Express, and camped out in the parking lot. I shifted everything around in the back of my car, and laid a matress pad and some blankets down. I hooked up my portable dvd player to the cigarette lighter and cuddled up to a movie with the doors locked. I slept pretty well that night.
I woke up in the morning and stepped out of my car and this was my view. My back was pretty sore, and I was very hungry. I walked around outside for a bit, and enjoyed the brisk cold morning.
Here is a another view of where I slept. It was a pretty nice Holiday Inn. I walked in the front door as if I was a guest, and used their bathroom. I changed my clothes, and cleaned my self up a bit, brushed my teeth, and went into the lobby and helped myself to a cup of complimentary coffee. I sat at the window and admired the River, and bridge. I ate breakfast in the park that morning. I cooked eggs, bacon and toast right there under that bridge. It was a good morning.
Yeah, so I totally took a picture of the Goonies house. Haha! I'm a big nerd, but I was totally star struck. :)
Also yes, that IS the school from Kindergarden Cop. I kicked it in Astoria for a bit, and then set out for the cost. My goal was to spend the night in Cannon Beach....
For now, this is where I will leave my blog. I will continue writing these, and adding as many pictures as I can. I will chronical this as best as I can and as accrately as I can.
So until then....
